The power of the little things...
Somebody better start planning an intervention. These are way too addicting. I have that powdered sugar look on my face and that crazed look in my eyes now. I'm currently searching for a way to get my next box. Help me now. I'll check the streets, those crack dealers a.k.a. "girl scouts" must have a stash. Yeah, they know how to get you with that innocent act. Trust me I was one of them in my day.
Anyways, I simply must tell you about my phobia. Nothing unusual. It's spiders. Seeing one of those creatures has the ability to make me act like a crazy person. It's not at all unusual for me to completely quarantine the area if I see one. And I did. Last night.
Aaron had just left for class and I went to sit down on the couch. I almost sat on the remote so I moved it away and that's when I saw it....it was huge. and yellow. it was crawling right beside me. I could have almost sat on the damn thing. I jumped up so fast I stubbed my toe and ran for the phone....on the other side of the house. I had the number dialed in nanoseconds calling Aaron to come home. Yes, I would call him home from school to get a spider. He didn't answer. Then panic struck me and I realized if I didn't see where the spider was crawling, I wouldn't know what part of the house to avoid and I would have to leave the house. It would simply have to be done. So, reluctantly, I found the spider crawling down the back of the couch. I grabbed the nearest waterbottle and tried to coax him into crawling into it. He got close to the opening and I freaked out and dropped the bottle....and the spider. Oh Lord, what have I done. By this point I was in hysterics and I'm pretty sure since the blinds were open the neighbors thought I was having a wild seizure or learning a new dance move. Pfft. Little did they know there was an intruder in my house. Being the quick thinker I am I had an idea to trap the thing. I grabbed the nearest glass out of the cupboard and I dove on the spider. I got it. But then I didn't know what to do with it. I wasn't going to remove it from the house. It would just have to sit in it's new home until Aaron got home....or until I got a hold of one of my brothers. That wasn't good enough though. We have hardwood floors so, oh man you should have seen me, I scooted it in the glass across the room on the floor until I got to the other side of the room. I was holding the glass against the floor so hard I thought I would break it. But I just couldn't take the chance of it escaping. Then I put that spider in time out. Because around here, a spider sitting on the couch is just unnacceptable and he needed to know it. Except I don't think he learned a lesson because he died by the time Aaron got home. I sat for the next three hours barely keeping my eyes off the glass and if I HAD to leave a room, when I would come back I had to make sure he was still underneath the glass. I'm pretty sure he was plotting an escape so I kept my eye on that thing. When Aaron walked in I pointed him in the general direction of the spider and he lost it. He laughed so hard I thought he would pee himself.
It's not funny, spiders, let that be a lesson to you: Do not come into MY house, and for damn sure don't sit on my couch. ::shivers:: I still have the heebie jeebies.
Anyways, I simply must tell you about my phobia. Nothing unusual. It's spiders. Seeing one of those creatures has the ability to make me act like a crazy person. It's not at all unusual for me to completely quarantine the area if I see one. And I did. Last night.
Aaron had just left for class and I went to sit down on the couch. I almost sat on the remote so I moved it away and that's when I saw it....it was huge. and yellow. it was crawling right beside me. I could have almost sat on the damn thing. I jumped up so fast I stubbed my toe and ran for the phone....on the other side of the house. I had the number dialed in nanoseconds calling Aaron to come home. Yes, I would call him home from school to get a spider. He didn't answer. Then panic struck me and I realized if I didn't see where the spider was crawling, I wouldn't know what part of the house to avoid and I would have to leave the house. It would simply have to be done. So, reluctantly, I found the spider crawling down the back of the couch. I grabbed the nearest waterbottle and tried to coax him into crawling into it. He got close to the opening and I freaked out and dropped the bottle....and the spider. Oh Lord, what have I done. By this point I was in hysterics and I'm pretty sure since the blinds were open the neighbors thought I was having a wild seizure or learning a new dance move. Pfft. Little did they know there was an intruder in my house. Being the quick thinker I am I had an idea to trap the thing. I grabbed the nearest glass out of the cupboard and I dove on the spider. I got it. But then I didn't know what to do with it. I wasn't going to remove it from the house. It would just have to sit in it's new home until Aaron got home....or until I got a hold of one of my brothers. That wasn't good enough though. We have hardwood floors so, oh man you should have seen me, I scooted it in the glass across the room on the floor until I got to the other side of the room. I was holding the glass against the floor so hard I thought I would break it. But I just couldn't take the chance of it escaping. Then I put that spider in time out. Because around here, a spider sitting on the couch is just unnacceptable and he needed to know it. Except I don't think he learned a lesson because he died by the time Aaron got home. I sat for the next three hours barely keeping my eyes off the glass and if I HAD to leave a room, when I would come back I had to make sure he was still underneath the glass. I'm pretty sure he was plotting an escape so I kept my eye on that thing. When Aaron walked in I pointed him in the general direction of the spider and he lost it. He laughed so hard I thought he would pee himself.
It's not funny, spiders, let that be a lesson to you: Do not come into MY house, and for damn sure don't sit on my couch. ::shivers:: I still have the heebie jeebies.
posted by Rebecca @ 9:46 AM
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