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Monday, March 21, 2005

Getting back to the point

I did something I've never done before last week. I read my archives. I really do hate the way I write because I know the feeling I put into my writing and it just seems foolish to me. Like hearing your voice on a home video. Makes my skin crawl. I really sound like that?

I started noticing a pattern in myself I never knew exsisted. Emotional cycles. I have highs and lows. It's not consistent with TTOM, it's more like once every other month. I'll have a low, not post much and then I'll come back with gusto. I think this is where I am right now. I'm trying to figure out why I write in this blog. Is it to remember what I've done on a particular day? To tell a funny story of my life to remember? For ::gasp:: comments?! No. To make myself accountable for weight loss?

I still don't know, I'm in limbo as to the real reason. I'm in one of the fogs right now where I don't want to write.

Here in Michigan we're on the brink of Spring and perhaps I feel like Mother Nature, teetering on the edge. Beautiful sunshine, or the dark greys of the end of Winter?

Hmmm. Which one to pick? Which one to pick?

I'm on the edge right now with a couple issues in my life. You'd think I'd write about it here to sort things out. Maybe. Or maybe I'll leave it in my head to fester and build up until I force myself into a split decision.

I've got to have a reason. A focus.

There's a metaphorical fork in the road and I'm standing in the middle looking around with a funny look on my face trying to find the right path. I have to remind myself the path is not for me to chose. It's not up to me. Everything will fall into place just as it should. Whether I worry about it or not. There are just some things you don't have control over.

But I do have control over this blog (for the most part) and I'm going to work through this. I'll figure it out. Whatever it is.




Added: I am in desperate need of a design change here, but I have no idea how to do it. Can someone help? i'm thinking, simple, a few colors. Nothing fancy.
I'd be much obliged.

6 Comments:

  • At 3:53 PM, Blogger dom said…

    Hi Rebecca,
    Great blog! Thanks for posting a comment on my site.
    To change your Blog , when you log in ...click on change settings , Template... then click new.
    Choose a template you like and click "use this template"... you wont lose any postings by doing this.
    I hope this helps.
    Good luck & I look forward to reading more from you :)

     
  • At 3:59 PM, Blogger hiddenfish said…

    In these troubling times there are many uncertainties and few unquestioned truths. Rampant confusion plagues the minds of the nervous masses. Order begets chaos in true entropic fashion. As individuals we are powerless to stand against the madness but united we may prevail. We are soldiers; armed with the shield of awareness and the sword of willpower, we stand ready for battle. When all is at an end and the hearts of men are failing them, we will emerge triumphantly and proclaim the new day! There is simply no time for trepidation or anxiety. It saddens me to say that the cowardly, the craven, and the timorous among us are assured an ill fate. We must act swiftly with the time we are given if we are to gain hope for ourselves. Learn more about the madness at www.freewebs.com/orangewrists or at orangewrists.blogspot.com.

     
  • At 12:46 AM, Blogger Thumper said…

    Here's the wonderful thing about a blog: it can be whatever you want it to be, at any given moment. Let your mood swings shine through--that's real. It's human.

    As for changing the look of your blog---blogskins.com is your friend. you can find tons of good stuff there, and it's not difficult to change your template.

     
  • At 11:45 AM, Blogger lainb said…

    Yeah, it's so interesting reading the archives. Don't worry about your "patterns" though...that's exactly what a blog is good for...to show how you felt & what you were thinking on a particular day. Also, for me anyway, even if a blog entry is "low" or "high" doesn't mean I was feeling that way the entire day...it's just what I wanted to write about at that time...maybe it's the same for you.

     
  • At 10:46 PM, Blogger girl from florida said…

    You noticed a trend in your emotions after reading your archives... exactly a reason to blog!

    I blog to write about my life, so I remember what happens to me, to write about how I'm feeling, what I'm doing, who I'm hanging out with. My life is so hectic and crazy, my blog is kind of a staple I come back to at night and regurgitate my day. I notice trends in my life too, and my marriage... etc.

    Anyway, I'm rambling. I like your new setup, very pretty!

     
  • At 4:47 PM, Blogger Lizard Queen said…

    I just started Blogging myself not too long ago...and sometimes I hate the way I sound too...Just as I don't like my voice recorded...however, it's cool to see patterns...and how about this Michigan weather! Just wish it'd stay one way...then maybe I'd feel better all around! :)

     

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