Timing is everything

Tomorrow we leave for a canoeing trip. My first. And there will be camping. In tents.

Most of you already know where this is going don't you?

We set up the tent last night after a couple years of it being folded up. Yuck. The smell was awful, so being the Mrs.-Clean-if-there-ever-was one, we washed it down, inside and out with pretty smelling soap. Even though my cleaner of choice is bleach, I thought it best we not try anything that harsh lest we wanted a skylight in the tent from such a harsh chemical. I don't need any more bugs crawling on me than what will already be. I'm already freaked out enough about the bears. Yes, Bears.
Lord, the bears.
I'll be researching survival tips and I won't be drinking beer because I read a story recently where a bear got drunk on a certain local brand of beer at a campsite. Nevermind that I hate beer, I'll be drinking something else thanks.

Now, someody please tell me that canoeing isn't that rough and I won't come home with more herniated discs in my neck please. Please. Because I totally have this vision of us barreling down waterfalls and hitting rocks and dumping into the river. Kind of like white water rafting. Please tell me I'm not going to die!