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Friday, July 02, 2004

Broke upon my inside

I'm in a funk. I'm moody, snappy, angry, happy, and most of all, complaining.

This is a product of me trying to accomplish too many things at once. I get anxious about completing all the things rolling around in my head and I get extremely irritable when I can't do them NOW.

Which is why I spent an hour talking to Aaron last night about how I want to do this, that, and serve the world up on a silver platter. With my hands tied behind my back. Blindfolded.

It's my own fault, I let my mind take too much on, and before you know it, I'm reeling in all the ideas I have to remodel the kitchen, deep clean this, wash that, and then I cry myself to sleep. Like last night.

Aaron didn't have to work today. The last thing he heard last night was me crying and asking him if he wanted me to go sit in the living room so he could sleep. He just pulled me closer to him.

I need control of emotions, my thoughts, my life. Big changes are coming...

We're going to the fireworks this weekend, this is the same place and event we met at two years ago. Then, I'm going to try and force myself to not do anything other than relaxing things. Except for tonight, which I will attempt to deep clean the house. ::sigh:: I'm running myself right into the ground.

Exercise was right on yesterday. I did it while babysitting a 1 1/2 yr. old. That's one pat on the back for me. Maddie tried doing the routine with me. She's such a good kid, I hope Aaron and I get so lucky.

Have a wonderful 4th of July weekend! See you Tuesday!


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