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Thursday, March 25, 2004

Finding your happy place

You know how people always talk about visiting their happy places when they're upset? I never really understood what the hell they were talking about. Happy place? I try to meditate and hyperventilate, what are you talking about "happy place?"

Well, I found mine.

I found a sanctuary-literally where I can close my eyes and imagine a beautiful scene.

The picture of me entering the church on my wedding day.

It happened this afternoon at lunch while I was browsing through a bridal magazine in my car. Maybe it was the sunroof finally open letting in the sweet smell of 50 degree weather. Maybe it was the fumes of the cars going by on the highway. Or even the fact that I'm getting sick again. (again, yes that's right. Weather change=me secretly swallowing golf balls at night so my throat is swollen and hurts the next day) Whatever the cause I started to daydream and began to imagine the doors opening to the church and everyone standing to look at me in my dress. Some people crying, some people smiling, family and friends all there, and me starting to slowly walk down the aisle to my future. Aaron. He'll be waiting for me at the front ready to take me hand in hand and ready for us to lead our lives. Together.

So even though we'll be spending tonight in a stuffy office with a life insurance representative, and I'm told it's a good thing I was on a ryder on my parent's life insurance policy because I'll never be eligible for life insurance otherwise thanks to this lovely plate in my neck, I'm happy.

Because God help me, I've found my "place." And that's really the only thing that's going to get me through these next 6 months.

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