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Thursday, January 22, 2004

Where's the Beef?

Yesterday was day three of the diet I started and I had to go home sick...hmph. Your body really does not like it when you go from about 1700 calories to 500 a day. NO, I didn't do it on purpose, it's just that this diet requires more meat than I prefer, to be consumed and the thought of food was making me sick. I had egg beaters for breakfast and then celery and peanut butter for lunch. So by 3pm my stomach was laughing at me screaming, "Is that all you got!" And then my body proceeded to go into hippie style protest complete with picket signs and all. So I gave in a went home all light headed and everthing. I even missed my first art class. Last week it was cancelled because of the snow so this was the first week and I missed due to my own stupidity. So, being me, I dropped the class. So what this means is that I'm still taking two classes, and then this summer I'll have one more class to complete. So I pushed back my graduation a bit. I'm so disappointed in myself. ::sigh::

It's for the best though, I don't want to burn myself out on school by taking three classes and still planning the wedding and trying to lose weight. That's a lot on ANYONE'S plate, not just mine. So I will not be graduating in June with my fiance, It will probably be in the fall.

On a happier note, we are meeting with the photographer today to get that booked, and I'm excited, because I love pictures. I used to love getting my picture taken before I gained all this weight too. About two years ago I stated modeling classes and I began full-figured modeling. I loved it. After my first photo shoot, I was so totally hooked. I loved the spotlight on me, an actual real person with curves, not some skinny, I have to wear little girl clothes because anything else it too big, model. Then enter surgery, and weight gain, and a distorted body image, and exit modeling. I haven't been back since. But once I lose this weight, nothing will stop me from going back. Even though I plan on getting pregnant soon after I'm married this October, I would love to have pictures of myself carrying my child. I think that is so beautiful, if it is done in good taste mind you.

So that's it for the life of me right now, I was pleasantly surprised on Tuesday when I came home from school and Aaron had put in the recessed cans in the living room. Woohoo! Let there be light!!!! I love him so much! I'm marrying the most wonderful man in the world! :)


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